but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
