Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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