Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize