he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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