I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
