I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
