Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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