I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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