My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
