Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kokahoe hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

Fav 20 976 2243
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway

Fav 23 2670 7394
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.

Fav 37 1431 5376
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.

Fav 6 1237 4024
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.

Fav 28 9589 1392
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices

Fav 34 7832 1594
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.

Fav 23 7192 1263
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.

(503): View more from Oregon

I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.

Fav 6 1178 681
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(870): View more from Arkansas

Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch

Fav 0 19 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT