I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
