apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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