ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
