I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize