Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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