bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
