You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
