I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
