i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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