Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm sobbing to NWA
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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