Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
