All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
