One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
