There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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