Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
