ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize