Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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