I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
