If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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