How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Let's get the cat blown out
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
