Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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