if i died would you start the facebook group?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
