HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize