hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
