Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
