I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
