hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
