If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
