after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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