Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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