She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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