Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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