if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
