it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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