Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
