the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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