I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
