Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i think my tv is drunk
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
