I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
