Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
