Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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