shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
