one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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