sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
