Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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