Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize