If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
