How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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